‘Ikale Tahi vs. Rugby Union “Big Boys:” a con-job for suckers? ^Featured

Auckland, New Zealand – So why do we tolerate rugby union international test matches between minnows like Tongan ‘Ikale Tahi vs. World No. 1 New Zealand All Blacks? I would think it’s a sick joke for sadists to welcome the humiliation of Tonga by the All Blacks, 102 – Tonga, 0) staged in Auckland last weekend.

Everybody knows what the outcome would be before such a travesty is ever staged. For example, no idiotic gambler would wager money on Tonga’s ‘Ikale Tahi against the All Blacks. However, the games’ marketers keep scheduling these lopsided events, and the public keeps eating it up as “suckers” for nationalism.

Why do the Big Boys in rugby union enjoy beating up hapless minnows, anyways? That’s not even good sportsmanship, is it? At least the Big Boys should suit up their third and fourth tier teams to make it fair – and for the entertainment part of it.

Don’t get me wrong, the underdogs always have their lucky day. But what are the odds? In Tonga’s case, losing by 102-0 to the All Blacks also took place in 2000. In a 2003 World Cup match, the margins were, 91-7. The best Tonga had shown against the All-Blacks is a 9-47 loss in the 2019 World Cup. Is a 9-47 loss better than a 0-102 loss?

Memorabilia for future generations?

Perhaps minnows are braggadocious suckers, too. Something for good memories and kava stories perhaps. How about a grandpa to grandson talk?

“Look moko (grandson), I played in a test match against the mighty All Blacks, in 2021. I was the famous No. 8, for Tonga. Look here is my jersey that I donned that day in 2021.”

“Yes, grandpa, what was the score?”

“Never mind what the score was, moko. Just suiting up in an ‘Ikale Tahi jersey is a great honor, just remember that.”

“But how much did you get paid for playing against the All Blacks, grandpa?”

“No moko. Always remember, it’s a great honor to represent Tonga.”

“But the All Blacks players are paid well. Shall I try for the All Blacks or for Tonga when I grow up?”

“Listen, moko. Don’t be silly. Go for the All Blacks.”

Spectators flock to see gladiators slaughter minnows

Well, we must be fair to everyone these days of politically correctness. We even give trophies to all losing participants in team sports. So, the next season’s goal for the players is to just show up instead of trying to be the best that one could become. No off-season training required.

It’s the reason World Rugby must concoct the World Cup series and given minnows false hope that they could win against the Big Boys. A trap which South Africa’s Springboks found almost catastrophic in the 2007 World Cup by fielding their second-string players against Tonga. They hurriedly subbed in first-string players late in the second half to preserve a 30-25 win over the ‘Ikale Tahi.

So, therefore, we had last weekend the All Blacks pounding on Tonga mercilessly. Ironically, the hope was that minnows like the ‘Ikale Tahi could learn from the experience in order to improve their lot. But the latest 102-0 beating by the All Blacks matched another 102-0 beating 21 years ago by the same team, in 2000.

I don’t understand why we keep buying into these con-jobs of matching minnows against rugby union Big Boys. For one, we don’t flock to see such exhibition of mismatch talents in other sports. Only in rugby union do minnows accept humiliation to play against the Big Boys, and spectators become “suckers” as Ancient Rome’s population flocked to witness Gladiators slaughtered.

[Mr. Mokofisi is a veteran journalist in the Tongan media and the international press. He’s a graduate of Liahona High School-Tonga; Mesa College-Arizona (AA); BYU-Hawaii (BS); University of Phoenix-Utah (MBA); University of Phoenix-Arizona (doctoral candidate)].